March 19, 2011

100% Angel now


Eugene R. Quillin

March 16th 1968 - March 7th 2011




From '02 till the end of '05 we were penpals. Both stuck in situations we were longing to get out of, we started to share our thoughts really fast. Reflections on life, thoughts about how & why each of us ended up in that dark place.What we would or wouldn't do if we could go back in time and change the past. How we could make the best of ourselves, how we would find our own way in life. What we dreamed of.
His dark place was very different from mine and we both learned to understand each other's darkness a bit more. I had more penpals at that time, but he was the only male one that really talked about his feelings. He wasn't afraid to open up and he was able to let go of judgements. Such a sensitive man. No wonder his initials, E.Q., are used to express emotional intelligence :)
He sent me his poems, I sent him mine. It felt like we had known each other for a long time.
 
Five years ago his situation changed, for the better. Hadn't expected it, but we drifted apart. He had his hands & head full of adapting to his new situation and I guessed it was time to let him go until our ways would cross again.
They did: 5 months ago I received a friendship request from him on facebook. It wasn't the intense friendship we used to have, but I was glad to have him back into my life. Was a bit worried though, he sounded like life was still not easy on him. Love was right around the corner, waiting for him, but he didn't know that yet.

March 16th, his birthday. I went to his facebook page to congratulate him and got the shock of a lifetime: messages about gathering for his remembrance, instead of birthday messages. My friend was gone.
Afterwards I learned he had júst fallen in love again with a girl from his past. They died together.
My friend, I hope you and your girl had an amazing couple of weeks together. Someone said you were her knight in shining armour. I can imagine that picture :)
Did you find ultimate freedom now?
Spread your wings and fly in peace,
thanks for being in my life. Hugs to your mom!





Someone

Got themselves a letter
In the mail the other day
It's already worn and tattered

And I guess
It gives away
All the things we keep inside
All the things that really matter
The face puts on its best disguise
And all is well
Until the heart
Betrays

She knows
As she reads the letter
That things were bound to stray
Winds blow
She pulls her coat tighter
And the letter flies away

With all the things she keeps inside
All the things that really matter
The face puts on its best disguise
And all is well
Until the heart betrays

Lord bring on the night
Wrap it all around me
Let it hold me tight
Soak up all that I bleed

And I'll fly away
Yeah I'll fly away
Yeah I'll fly away
Watch me

Lord bring on the night
Wrap it all around me
Let it hold me tight
Soak up all that I bleed
I bleed

2 comments:

  1. I can see he was my age. I was born less than a month before him.
    Life is not easy. I hope he has found his freedom.
    Your words are really touching, dear.

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  2. Your words are beautiful and touching about this man. It sounds as though you were very good friends to each other, and there are not many things in this world better than being someone's friend. Being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on or just someone to say "I understand". You are a good person my friend, I am glad to have found you online as well! I am truly and very sorry for your loss.

    oxox
    Michaela

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